{"id":11,"date":"2024-02-29T15:38:00","date_gmt":"2024-02-29T15:38:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/valuestream.club\/?p=4"},"modified":"2024-02-29T15:38:00","modified_gmt":"2024-02-29T15:38:00","slug":"cum-sa-comunici-fara-manipulare-sau-constrangere","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/valuestream.club\/?p=11","title":{"rendered":"Cum s\u0103 comunici f\u0103r\u0103 manipulare sau constr\u00e2ngere"},"content":{"rendered":"

Se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 ca interlocutorii no\u0219tri s\u0103 nu ne aud\u0103, s\u0103 refuze s\u0103 \u00eendeplineasc\u0103 cereri sau dorin\u021be \u0219i, uneori, chiar reac\u0163ioneaz\u0103 cu ostilitate la tot ce se spune. Acest lucru poate \u00eensemna c\u0103 folosim tehnici de comunicare ineficiente, vorbirea noastr\u0103 este plin\u0103 de manipulare, constr\u00e2ngere \u0219i alte forme de violen\u021b\u0103 verbal\u0103.<\/p>\n

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O abordare numit\u0103 comunicare nonviolent\u0103 (sau prietenoas\u0103 cu mediul) ajut\u0103 la corectarea situa\u021biei.<\/p>\n

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Ce este comunicarea nonviolent\u0103?<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

Acesta este ceva asem\u0103n\u0103tor unui sistem pe care psihologul american Marshall Rosenberg l-a inventat \u0219i descris \u00een cartea sa \u201eLimbajul vie\u021bii\u201d \u00een anii 1960. Comunicarea nonviolent\u0103 (NVC) te ajut\u0103 s\u0103-\u021bi comunici g\u00e2ndurile \u0219i s\u0103 ob\u021bii ceea ce ai nevoie f\u0103r\u0103 presiune.<\/span><\/p>\n

Un exemplu de comunicare violent\u0103: \u201eNu v\u0103 monitoriza\u021bi deloc copiii! Alearg\u0103 prin apartament \u0219i interfereaz\u0103 cu munca mea. Opri\u021bi aceast\u0103 ru\u0219ine!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Exemplu de comunicare nonviolent\u0103: \u201eLucrez de acas\u0103 \u0219i chiar am nevoie de cel pu\u021bin lini\u0219te relativ\u0103, altfel nu m\u0103 pot concentra. \u00cen\u021beleg c\u0103 copiii pot fi foarte zgomoto\u0219i \u0219i activi, iar uneori este foarte greu s\u0103-i lini\u0219ti\u021bi. Dar v\u0103 rog s\u0103 le cere\u021bi s\u0103 tac\u0103. Mul\u021bumesc”.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rosenberg crede c\u0103 comunicarea nonviolent\u0103 poate fi practicat\u0103 cu oricine: parteneri, copii, colegi, prieteni, p\u0103rin\u021bi, vecini.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Aceast\u0103 abordare s-a dovedit a fi foarte eficient\u0103 – v\u0103 permite s\u0103 dezvolta\u021bi empatia, s\u0103 evita\u021bi conflictele sau s\u0103 le stinge\u021bi \u00eenainte ca acestea s\u0103 devin\u0103 ceva serios. Training-urile ONG-urilor se desf\u0103\u0219oar\u0103 \u00een diferite companii \u0219i, de asemenea, de exemplu, pentru a preveni violen\u021ba domestic\u0103 \u0219i a preveni recidivele \u00een r\u00e2ndul infractorilor.<\/p>\n

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Componentele de baz\u0103 ale comunic\u0103rii nonviolente<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

1. Observa\u021bie nejudecat\u0103<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Aceasta \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 ar trebui s\u0103 monitorizezi cuvintele \u0219i comportamentul interlocutorului t\u0103u \u0219i, \u00een loc s\u0103-l etichetezi, s\u0103 te concentrezi pe fapte. Trebuie s\u0103 \u00eencerci s\u0103 \u00een\u021belegi ce sentimente \u0219i nevoi se afl\u0103 \u00een spatele tuturor acestor lucruri.<\/span><\/p>\n

Compara\u0163ie:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201eE lene\u0219 \u0219i nu vrea deloc s\u0103 \u00eenve\u021be!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201eNu se preg\u0103te\u0219te pentru seminarii \u0219i nu trece testele de prima dat\u0103. Poate c\u0103 nu este interesat de specialitatea pe care o prime\u0219te. Sau exist\u0103 dificult\u0103\u021bi serioase \u00een \u00een\u021belegerea materialului.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Defini\u021bia emo\u021biei<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

La acest pas, trebuie s\u0103 te ui\u021bi \u00een interiorul t\u0103u, s\u0103 analizezi cum te sim\u021bi \u0219i s\u0103-i spui interlocutorului despre asta:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201eM\u0103 enervez \u0219i m\u0103 jignesc c\u00e2nd arunci lucruri \u00een jur.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

3. Determinarea nevoii<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Aici trebuie s\u0103 \u00een\u021belegi \u0219i s\u0103 formulezi ceea ce ai nevoie:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201eSunt teribil de sup\u0103rat c\u0103 familia mea nu face cur\u0103\u021benie dup\u0103 sine. \u00cemi doresc foarte mult ca ei s\u0103 aprecieze munca mea \u0219i s\u0103 arate c\u0103 \u00eemi observ\u0103 eforturile.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

4. Cerere<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Atunci c\u00e2nd o nevoie este identificat\u0103, merit\u0103 s\u0103 o exprimi \u00eentr-o manier\u0103 respectuoas\u0103, f\u0103r\u0103 vin\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 oferi o cale de ie\u0219ire din situa\u021bie:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201ePetrec mult timp \u0219i fac efort cur\u0103\u021bind, \u0219i mi-a\u0219 dori s\u0103 \u021bii casa ordonat\u0103. S\u0103 venim cu ni\u0219te reguli de cur\u0103\u021benie pe care toat\u0103 lumea va \u00eencerca s\u0103 le respecte\u201d.<\/p>\n

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Cum s\u0103 practici comunicarea nonviolent\u0103<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

Iat\u0103 c\u00e2teva tehnici care v\u0103 vor ajuta s\u0103 construi\u021bi o comunicare adecvat\u0103, prietenoas\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103-\u021bi atingei obiectivul.<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Vorbe\u0219te cu \u201eMesaje-eu\u201d<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd spunem: \u201e\u00centotdeauna stai cu consola\u201d sau \u201eAi \u00eent\u00e2rziat din nou!\u201d – d\u0103m vina pe interlocutor. \u0218i nim\u0103nui nu-i place s\u0103 se simt\u0103 vinovat. Ca r\u0103spuns la aceasta, o persoan\u0103 poate \u00eencepe s\u0103 se apere, s\u0103 se \u00eentoarc\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 manifeste agresivitate. Treaba se va sf\u00e2r\u0219i \u00eentr-o ceart\u0103 \u0219i resentimente \u0219i nu vei ob\u021bine ceea ce \u00ee\u021bi dore\u0219ti. Prin urmare, este important s\u0103 vorbe\u0219ti despre tine \u0219i despre sentimentele tale, \u0219i nu despre o alt\u0103 persoan\u0103, \u0219i s\u0103 \u00eencepi o propozi\u021bie nu cu \u201etu\u201d sau \u201e\u021bie\u201d, ci cu \u201eeu\u201d sau \u201emie\u201d. De exemplu:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201eM\u0103 sup\u0103r dac\u0103 joci mult. Mi-e dor de tine”.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201eSunt foarte sup\u0103rat c\u00e2nd cineva \u00eent\u00e2rzie. Nu-mi place c\u00e2nd planurile merg prost.\u201d<\/p>\n

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2. \u00cencearc\u0103 s\u0103 faci f\u0103r\u0103 evaluare<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Observ\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 a judeca – este unul dintre principiile de baz\u0103 ale NVC. Evaluarea este un produs al emo\u021biilor noastre, distorsiunilor cognitive \u0219i experien\u021belor negative; nu poate fi obiectiv\u0103 \u0219i nu ajut\u0103 la comunicare.<\/span><\/p>\n

Nu ar trebui s\u0103 \u00eencepi comunicarea din astfel de pozi\u021bii:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201eVecinii no\u0219tri sunt inadecva\u021bi, nu respect\u0103 pe nimeni \u0219i ascult\u0103 muzic\u0103 la unu diminea\u021ba.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201eCopilul meu este o persoan\u0103 lene\u0219\u0103 r\u0103sf\u0103\u021bat\u0103, sc\u0103pat\u0103 de sub control. Nu se g\u00e2nde\u0219te la mine, nu vrea s\u0103 studieze sau s\u0103 ajute prin cas\u0103.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Esen\u021ba NVC-urilor este de a \u00een\u021belege cel pu\u021bin par\u021bial motivele \u0219i nevoile unei persoane. De exemplu, un copil obraznic poate atrage aten\u021bia \u00een acest fel sau este sup\u0103rat pentru ceva. Iar vecinul vrea s\u0103 se relaxeze dup\u0103 o zi de lucru \u0219i nu \u00een\u021belege ce \u00eempiedic\u0103 \u00eentreaga intrare s\u0103 doarm\u0103. Dac\u0103 te bazezi pe aceasta, probabilitatea de a ajunge la un compromis va fi mai mare.<\/span><\/p>\n


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3. Evita starea de spirit imperativ\u0103<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201eSp\u0103la\u021bi vasele\u201d, \u201esuna\u021bi clientul\u201d, \u201eopri\u021bi muzica\u201d – astfel de fraze sun\u0103 ca ordine. \u0218i oamenilor nu le place s\u0103 fie ordona\u021bi prin preajm\u0103. Din aceast\u0103 cauz\u0103, ei pot intra \u00een rezisten\u021b\u0103: vor deveni \u00eenc\u0103p\u0103\u021b\u00e2na\u021bi, vor refuza s\u0103 \u00eendeplineasc\u0103 cererile \u0219i vor r\u0103spunde cu grosol\u0103nie. Este mai bine s\u0103 folose\u0219ti construc\u021bii mai bl\u00e2nde, diplomatice \u0219i respectuoase, nu pentru a comanda, ci pentru a cere sau a oferi. De exemplu:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201eVe\u021bi putea s\u0103 suna\u021bi ast\u0103zi clientul \u0219i s\u0103 clarifica\u021bi aceast\u0103 problem\u0103?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201eS\u0103 sp\u0103l\u0103m rapid vasele \u0219i apoi ne uit\u0103m la seria!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201eV\u0103 rog s\u0103 reduce\u021bi muzica.\u201d<\/p>\n

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4. Nu da sfaturi nesolicitate<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Ei pot \u00eenc\u0103lca grani\u021bele personale \u0219i pot lua o form\u0103 de violen\u021b\u0103 psihologic\u0103. Prin urmare, este mai bine s\u0103 a\u0219tep\u021bi p\u00e2n\u0103 c\u00e2nd o persoan\u0103 va cere sfaturi despre ceva \u0219i abia apoi s\u0103-\u021bi exprimi g\u00e2ndurile. Mai mult, f\u0103r\u0103 a te \u00een\u0103l\u021ba peste interlocutorul t\u0103u \u0219i f\u0103r\u0103 a \u00eencerca s\u0103-l zdrobe\u0219ti cu experien\u021ba ta.<\/span><\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 \u021bi se pare c\u0103 o persoan\u0103 chiar are nevoie de sfaturi \u0219i cu siguran\u021b\u0103 \u00eei va face via\u021ba mai bun\u0103 sau \u00eel va ajuta \u00eentr-o situa\u021bie dificil\u0103, \u00eencerc\u0103 mai \u00eent\u00e2i s\u0103 afli c\u00e2t de potrivit este s\u0103 sf\u0103tuie\u0219ti ceva acum. De exemplu:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201eAm avut o situa\u021bie similar\u0103. Dac\u0103 vrei, pot s\u0103-\u021bi spun cumva ce am f\u0103cut.\u201d<\/p>\n

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5. Fii atent la critici<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Poate c\u0103 interlocutorul nu are chef s\u0103 o asculte acum sau nu are deloc nevoie de ea. \u00cencerc\u0103rile de a-i sublinia c\u0103 tr\u0103ie\u0219te gre\u0219it, arat\u0103 gre\u0219it \u0219i face lucruri gre\u0219ite \u00eel vor face pur \u0219i simplu sup\u0103rat sau sup\u0103rat.<\/span><\/p>\n

Uneori nu te po\u021bi lipsi de critici (de exemplu, dac\u0103 lucrezi \u00eempreun\u0103). \u00cen acest caz, este mai bine s\u0103 te exprimi sub form\u0103 de feedback. Adic\u0103, vorbe\u0219te despre ceea ce \u00ee\u021bi place la ac\u021biunile persoanei, apoi arat\u0103-i politicos ce poate fi \u00eembun\u0103t\u0103\u021bit \u0219i ofer\u0103 c\u00e2teva idei despre cum s\u0103 faci asta.<\/p>\n

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6. \u00cenva\u021b\u0103 s\u0103 vorbe\u0219ti despre emo\u021biile tale<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

Uneori, toate dificult\u0103\u021bile \u00een comunicare apar din cauza faptului c\u0103 nu ne putem \u00een\u021belege sentimentele \u0219i nu le putem numi corect. \u00cen loc s\u0103 strigi: \u201eTotul m\u0103 enerveaz\u0103!\u201d – ai putea spune: \u201eSunt sup\u0103rat c\u0103 tu…\u201d. Nu exist\u0103 agresivitate \u00een a doua afirma\u021bie \u0219i \u00eel ajut\u0103 pe interlocutor s\u0103 te \u00een\u021beleag\u0103 mai bine.<\/span><\/p>\n

Emo\u021biile de baz\u0103 sunt prezentate \u00een roata lui Robert Plutchik. Odat\u0103 ce te pricepi bine la acest spectru, poate merita s\u0103 cau\u021bi \u0219i s\u0103 \u00eenve\u021bi s\u0103 nume\u0219ti nuan\u021be suplimentare. Ele pot fi g\u0103site, de exemplu, \u00een dic\u021bionarul lingvistic-psihologic.<\/span><\/p>\n


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7. Exprima\u021bi simpatia<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

O persoan\u0103 va fi mult mai loial\u0103 dac\u0103 vede c\u0103 e\u0219ti de partea sa, \u00eei \u00een\u021belegi \u0219i \u00eemp\u0103rt\u0103\u0219e\u0219ti emo\u021biile \u0219i nu \u00eel consideri r\u0103u. De asemenea, este o idee bun\u0103 s\u0103-\u021bi l\u0103uzi interlocutorul pentru faptele bune. De exemplu:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201ePare\u021bi nervos la serviciu. Juca\u021bi jocuri video pentru a sc\u0103pa de stres?<\/span><\/p>\n<\/p>\n

\u201e\u00cemi place foarte mult felul \u00een care lucrezi. Ce se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 dac\u0103 am discuta cum altfel ne putem \u00eembun\u0103t\u0103\u021bi performan\u021ba?<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 ca interlocutorii no\u0219tri s\u0103 nu ne aud\u0103, s\u0103 refuze s\u0103 \u00eendeplineasc\u0103 cereri sau dorin\u021be \u0219i, uneori, chiar reac\u0163ioneaz\u0103 cu ostilitate la tot ce se…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2470,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-productivitate"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/valuestream.club\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/valuestream.club\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/valuestream.club\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/valuestream.club\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/valuestream.club\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/valuestream.club\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/valuestream.club\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2470"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/valuestream.club\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/valuestream.club\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/valuestream.club\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}